To Listen You Must First Shut Up!

In these times of bombast and braggadocio, where everyone feels entitled to his/her fifteen minutes in the spotlight, it is now obvious that the art of listening has been leeched from the American character.

In the media, TV pundits, of the O'Reilly and Hannity type engage in the homicidal pastime of death-by-decibel. Any gaggle of politicians gathered together soon results in oxygen starvation for those unfortunate enough to be assembled in the same room. This drive to be heard, to foist one's opinion upon the other, is nothing more than the equivalent of barging in line, of breaking into the queue. The behavior is probably symptomatic of a need to be heard and acknowledged, perhaps even loved. Explanations are best left to the sociologists.

For the business practitioner, the failure to listen ultimately results in business loss or failure. It's one of the primary reasons why, in a nation where the practice of business generally provides the "best practices" for the rest of the world, the consumer is still exposed to inferior customer service, and brand fatality is not uncommon.

The "hows" of listening

The rules of good listening are based on a platform of courtesy, good manners and common sense. It doesn't require the experience and training of a business ethicist or management guru to appreciate the need and value of the "do unto others" philosophy that drives good listening behavior. Read More

Comments

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[Kelyn Zoeller]

I 100% agree. In todays society listening has become and artform that most American's do not practice anymore. What happened to the days when sitting around a radio LISTENING to someone speak was appreciated, now we find ourselves to busy to even watch commericals. Techonolgy is what blame for this epidemic of rudeness that has exploded onto our continent. We no longer understand that listening is important. That there is something to learn from others and that perhaps if we just shut-up long enought to hear someone elses thoughts that we might in deed find something interesting in someone else. Selfishness is ruling our country adn it is killing our business world!
There is no time to waste. However, while American business men are failing to listen, they do not realize they are loosing money. Isnt it barbaric how quickly one forgets to hear another speak.

[Bill Lampton, Ph.D.]

You're right on target, Alf. Every time I direct a communication seminar, I begin by asking participants to identify--silently--the three people they enjoy talking with the most: someone from their family, a work associate and a friend. Then when I get to the section on listening, I say: "Think back now to the three people you selected as your favorite conversationalists. My guess is that these three individuals are not great joke tellers, boisterous back-slappers or weavers of long-winded narratives. Instead, you selected people who listen to you intently. They listen so closely you feel encouraged to share your deepest feelings. That's why we're going to spend the next few minutes considering how to improve our listening skills."

No seminar attendee has ever disputed my guess about who he or she selected. This reinforces what you say in your fine article, Alf.

Listening is our most powerful communication skill, yet one of the most neglected. My slogan: "Listen your way to the top!"